200
by Schlomo
Summary: What happened between JJ's abduction and the moment they find her, Will's PoV. I'm really uncreative so I don't really talk about the case, focus lies on Will's thoughts and emotions during those two days. Includes the whole team. I don't own criminal minds or any of the characters but if I did, none of this would be happening. May add another chapter later.
1. Chapter 1

**200**

**I rewrote it based on all the new information we have. (But I haven't watched the promo yet so this is based on the spoilers I have from Tumblr and Twitter) Hope you like it anyway.**

_"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you."  
-Neil Gaiman_

I kissed my wife goodbye, she highfived our son before leaving, told us both that she loves us. I went to the kitchen to prepare our son's lunch. He followed me. I packed his bag. I grabbed mine. I dropped him off at school. I drove to work.  
At 1:41pm, I turned around in my chair to tell a colleague that he should tell his 23 year old girlfriend about his wife but not the other way around. 3 hours and 20 minutes later I drove back home to release the nanny. My son and I played soccer, had dinner and eventually went to bed. We repeated our routine the next day. After I put my son to bed again, I received a text that his mother would be home in a few hours and she would see us in the morning. I went to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, nobody was lying next to me. I checked the room for a note that said she left early but couldn't find one which wasn't like her at all. It wasn't until I didn't find her, or any trace that she had been there at some point that night, in any other room of our apartment that I got nervous. My first thought was that she was with another man and I was ok with that thought. Because as long as she was cheating on me, she was _somewhere_ and not anywhere. There weren't many other options that came to my mind and I didn't like any of them so I got dressed in a hurry and woke up Henry. "Hey, buddy, what do you think about not going to school today?"  
He blinked a few times and smiled as soon as he understood what I'd just said.  
I didn't even give him time to put normal clothes on, I helped him in his shoes and dragged him to the backseat of my car. On my way out the door I heard our home phone ring, I guessed it was Garcia. But I couldn't pick up because then it would become real and I needed another 5 minutes to wrap my head around this. No. There was a simple explanation for this, it was all a big mistake and if I just waited long enough she'd be home for dinner to read a bedtime story to Henry. Henry. What was I going to tell him? Nothing. Because nothing was wrong. She'd be home. Soon. It was ridiculous of me to drive there but in a few hours we'd laugh about this. I didn't even dare to call anyone and ask whether she was there because for some reason I was sure that she wasn't.  
"Why do you look so upset, daddy?"  
"I'm not upset, buddy. But listen, we gotta go to aunt Penelope's office ok?" I fastened his seatbelt.  
"With mommy?" He cheered.  
I hesitated. "No, she won't be there."  
"Then why are we going?"  
He had a point. "I heard she has chocolate." She was on a diet so I knew she didn't have any but I figured they'd have a snack machine somewhere.  
"Yay." He sang and talked about chocolate for the next twenty minutes.

I knew the way to the roundtable room and I knew the team would be there at this time. The door was wide open and everyone looked at us as soon as they heard our footsteps walking up the stairs from the bullpen where I'd walked past her desk and the framed photo of Henry's last birthday party.  
"Something's wrong."  
"Will, we tried to call you." Hotch greeted us as if he wasn't surprised to see me there. "I'm assuming you don't know where JJ is either?" He sounded so professional I thought about punching him. We held eye contact for a couple of seconds, neither of us said a word.  
"I suggest you take Henry to Garcia's office, we need your help."  
I nodded.

"Ok, I have to go discuss some things with Aaron and Spencer again, do you mind waiting in here until I come back?"  
Henry shook his head. I knocked on Penelope's door, who's eyes widened as she saw the little boy that was too big to be carried but his short legs hadn't moved fast enough for me. She took him in her arms and kissed his cheek.  
"I already tried out all her numbers, all except one went straight to voicemail, I also tried locating them but they're off except one which is in your bedroom, I'm assuming nightstand drawer." She informed me without even saying hello properly.  
I knew that. I had already tried out all her numbers several times; our home number where I had to hang up as soon I heard her voice on the answering machine, the old number she'd given me back in New Orleans, which had been out of service for years, her work phone, even her land line at work, her private cell. It was like a punch in the chest when I thought of the shiny black blackberry she never used, lying in her nightstand drawer, in _our_ bedroom.  
There wasn't a lot of talking after that either, she called Agent Anderson and told him to protect Henry with his life and to give him anything he wanted and then walked back to the roundtable room with me. I couldn't recall ever having been in there before although JJ had told me about it many times. No polite handshakings or even a nod later, they asked me to describe in great detail what exactly had happened the previous evening. It wasn't until after I had explained what bread I used for Henry's sandwich that Hotch realized something. "Has Cruz come in yet?"  
Garcia shook her head. I suddenly remembered something. "JJ once told me that if anything should happen to her, I'm supposed to ask Cruz and he'll know."  
"What do you know about her work at the state department?"  
"Basically nothing." I shrugged my shoulders. "She had mentioned a top secret case a few years back." When she'd come home way after her shift had already ended, after discussing God knows what with that Cruz guy I'd only seen once or twice in my life. I had doubted her faithfulness for a single second but felt bad immediately because I knew she wasn't the kind of woman to cheat. Besides, she was a terrible liar when it came to me and never hesitated to tell me when something I did bothered or annoyed her and whenever she had come back from those meetings she was so... _serious_... Hotch told Garcia to dig out everything she could find on this case and she started talking immediately but I wasn't listening, all I heard was the blood pounding in my ears and my son's laughter from the other room. "So this is really happening, huh?" I blurted out in the middle of their discussion.  
"I'm afraid so. We have to assume the worst. What do you know about it exactly?" Hotch asked me seriously.  
"Nothing." I repeated.  
"I know you knew about Emily, Will." He paused as if he'd just thought of something but went on professionally. "So I'll ask you again: _What_ do you know about this case?"  
"It changed her." I swallowed. "Leaving this team _broke_ her, it took her a while to put the same passion into the new job. But she eventually did and looked forward to going to work as much as she used to, so when she came back after a week in the middle east and said she wasn't allowed to talk about it, I respected that. She had a cracked rib and wouldn't tell me how it happened. Sometimes she woke up screaming and pretended like it was nothing. She had always been tough but, I don't know, she was a little _colder_ after she returned-"  
"Are you _sure_ she didn't mention anything else? Every detail can be important."  
"We were just glad she had come back home safely." I apologized, looking him in the eyes. I could tell that he understood. She had just kept on repeating that she's sorry and that she couldn't tell me but that it wasn't about me and during the day she was like she'd always been but once it got dark I could feel her shaking when I took her hand.  
"It's sealed-" was the first thing I heard out of Garcia's mouth once I paid attention again.  
"-not anymore." Hotch's death stare signalized her that there was nothing he didn't wanna know but she had already unsealed everything the second she had found it. "Who else knew about this?"  
"Strauss." Garcia read confusedly.  
"Well we can't ask her. Reid, Blake, I want you to look at JJ's car, look at any signs of a struggle or forced entry. Garcia-" he turned his whole body towards her "I want you to call Emily, see what Interpol has on this. Tell her to come here."  
"Yes, Sir." Garcia tried hard not to smile.  
He turned to me again. Call me if you remember anything else about her recent behavior. Was she different around Henry, around you? Did she say anything unusual?"  
"_No_." I tried to remember anything that could be of help. I had become like the victim's relatives I hated so much, the ones that hid their affairs or marriage problems because they were afraid of what I would think when all I wanted was the truth so I could do my job.  
Hotch nodded disappointedly and left.  
When had I stopped to watch her every move with fascination? Was it after our wedding or before? Had she been right all along? Did marriage mean getting used to- and eventually bored of each other? Had a squeezing of her shoulders become a substitute for a kiss? Had I ever forgotten to tell her I love her and broken my promise I'd made so many years ago? I realized Hotch hadn't told me what to do so I was left in an empty room. I went downstairs, thanked Anderson for playing with Henry and took him back to Penelope's office.

"What do I do?" I said at some point, when watching her fingers fly across the keyboard for another minute would have officially driven me insane.  
"You let us do our job." She got up, opened the door, took something out of Anderson's hands and put a few papers and crayons down in front of Henry. I wondered who had been invited him to our wedding because I'd never seen him again (or before) until that day.  
"It's my job, too." I sighed.  
"I know." She realized, walked up to me and embraced me. She smelled of strawberries and glitter.  
"How can she just disappear? You have security cameras everywhere in this city and nobody saw her on that damn square?"  
"It was late at night, dark, nobody was on the streets anymore and whoever has her hacked into the security system."  
My heart skipped a beat when she said 'has her' because now it _was_ real. She was probably tied up in someone's trunk or basement at that moment, someone who had been planning this for weeks while we lived our lives like nothing was wrong. Someone who may even have watched us I was giving someone advice on how to cheat on his wife while my own was getting kidnapped. My throat tightened, it felt like trying to inhale water. _Abducted_.  
"Take him home." Garcia interrupted my thoughts, nodding her head towards Henry who was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor. She must have noticed my tension. "The team's leaving soon, too. I'll call you if there's any news."  
"What do I tell him?" I covered my mouth with my hand and looked over at my son, my little bundle of innocence. How many nights had he cried, screamed for his mother and how many nights was I not able to give him what he wanted most. I thought back to one morning when Henry was lying in our bed, he was only a few months old. I got up to brush my teeth, she got up to put a sweatshirt on and somehow he managed to roll off the bed in the two seconds neither of us were watching. There was a thump that was followed by a scream I thought was gonna make the neighbors call the police. When I peeked through the bathroom door, JJ had already thrown herself across the floor to save him and was now trying to calm him down, I started laughing. I don't know why I did that but his scream sounded so healthily loud, plus he'd fallen on carpet, that I knew he was ok and it suddenly just seemed really funny. I slept on the couch that night... "She's tough." I repeated ,it was only a whisper. "She can make people do anything she wants and if her negotiating skills don't suffice her charm sure does and I know these people won't get fooled by her charm but she rearranged furniture every time I wasn't looking when she was 9 months pregnant, her bones are basically iron and she'll hang on until we get there, right?" I felt like I was going to throw up. "We'll get her back and soon she'll be the old JJ again. Or maybe a new version of that. But she'll burn french toast again because she forgot it while dancing through the kitchen with our son, right? Because I can't do this on my own. None of this."  
Garcia teared up. "Of course she will." Her voice broke. "Now take him home."

He woke up when I put him in the car and again when I put him in his bed. "Is mommy coming home tomorrow?"  
"I don't know, buddy. Maybe. We'll see." I wanted to talk to him. But not about her. I had discussed his favorite cereal and action hero with him for almost an hour that day but whenever he mentioned his mom, I ran.  
"Goodnight, daddy."  
"Goodnight, baby."  
He made a grimace because he didn't like me calling him a baby. But when it all came down to it, that's all he was. My little baby boy.

The longest 36 hours of my life followed this day. 36 hours of sleeping 10 minutes a night, of not daring to leave Henry out of my sight, let alone go to school, of constantly checking my phone to see if Garcia had called, of not being able to go anywhere near our bed because it smelled like her and I needed to preserve that smell in case... In case she wouldn't smell the same when she came back. When. Not if. When. The only non-work related thing Emily had said to me was 'let's get our girl back' and I was fine with that since social interaction wasn't on the top of my list, although I was very happy to see her again, it had been a long time. I convinced myself we'd have enough time for catching up when this was over. It seemed only fair that she'd come back to find JJ after she had done exactly the same for her. I had just hoped we'd meet again under different circumstances.  
I couldn't fall let alone stay asleep without her little feet, that I always made fun of, kicking me in her sleep. I was a ghost, a shell of a man that spent 16 hours a day sitting on a chair in an office with a woman who could type too fast for his eyes to keep up. I didn't eat, Henry had to remind me to get something for him and as close as I wanted him, I looked into his eyes and saw his mother, which put me in more pain than I'd ever thought was possible to survive as a human being and the only thing that reminded me to breathe was a tiny piece of the puzzle Penelope found every now and again. How was I supposed to explain to my son why he couldn't go to school or meet his friends or why there was a man protecting our front gate, when we came home long past his bedtime. How was I going to explain to him why mommy wasn't coming back. Whenever he had missed her I was too weak to deny him anything else he wanted, which he was aware of and used to his advantage quite often, so she always accused me of spoiling him when she wasn't around. He'd be the worst behaving kid ever if she wasn't around as much as she was so this wasn't an option. For the sake of our child. We'd had endless arguments over this subject but never came to a proper conclusion cause she either started crying which broke my heart or found me so sexy while being mad that we ended up delighting instead of fighting...

"We have a location."  
"Thank you." I sighed in relief, not really sure whom I was thanking exactly.  
"Are you coming?"  
I didn't even answer.  
42 hours. That was more than enough time to kill her. But she was smart, the smartest woman I'd ever known, she was stubborn and manipulative, I'd fallen for her mind games endless times. There wasn't a single doubt in my mind that she was capable of putting them off until we got to her.  
"Henry, I gotta pick mommy up from somewhere, can you stay with Penelope for a bit?"  
"Why can't I come with you?"  
Because I don't know in what condition she will be in. "I'll bring her home as soon as I can, ok?"  
"Ok." He looked down at the floor as if he knew I was keeping something from him.  
"Pinky promise." I stretched my little finger out to him.  
"Pinky promise." He agreed, a bit happier this time.  
I ran after the rest of the team and climbed in the backseat, a blue FBI vest was already waiting for me. Hotch drove, thanks to the siren we didn't have to pay attention to the traffic and we were out of the city in no time. It wasn't far away, a luxurious building the name Cramer rang a bell in my head but I didn't know what this had to do with the senator.  
"Will, stay back."  
I didn't listen to him of course, drew my weapon and ran in after all of them.  
"I got her." Morgan, who'd kicked down the door and gone in first, yelled only a few moments after we'd gotten to the basement. On my way to where the noise came from, I passed a room where Hotch, Alex and Rossi were pointing their guns at 3 armed men. I hesitated for the shortest of moments, stood in the doorway. I had a clear shot. About 15 feet were separating the guys, that had done whatever it was that they had done to my girl, from a bullet in their heads. I heard a shot.  
"I need a medic." Morgan called and I left them to the professionals.  
When I reached the room where the noise had come from, she was sitting on a chair in the corner, her hands were tied together behind her, duct tape covered her mouth. The blue blouse she'd worn to work many times before was now brown and muddy, torn in the front, her dark blonde hair that had been in a perfect bun when she'd left the house, now messily framed her face. Derek kneed next to her, untying her hands. It took me another second to check that the room was clear until I ran up to her while holstering my gun. Her eyes were empty when she turned her head and saw me, dried black mascara lines traced the way of her tears. I swallowed when I saw the bruises that covered her face and chest. Morgan hadn't even removed the duct tape yet, making it impossible for her to speak. She slowly moved her hands up to her face to tear it off, revealing a bloody lip. By the time I had run over to her, she was almost standing upright, looking at me like she hadn't seen the sun in a year, without so much as hinting a smile and in that very moment, she looked so _absolutely_ broken, that I wondered if she would ever forgive me...


	2. Chapter 2

**As you're gonna figure out yourself soon, this chapter's written from JJ's PoV. I know that from the promo pics it looks like Emily finds her but I wanted Will to so here it goes. (I also rewrote the whole first chapter so it fits with all the spoilers)**

"Will." I tried to say, exhaling through my mouth, stumbling up, falling right into his arms. He had found me. He had done it. My bruised ribs hurt as I pressed his chest against mine but it was a pain I was willing to take. He placed his hand on the back of my head, letting my face fall against his shoulder, slightly stroking my hair. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, probably didn't even breathe. Everything around me was blurry, people were talking but I couldn't make out their words. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted Hotch leading the guy that had stayed in there with me outside in handcuffs.  
"Can you walk?" Will asked me, slightly pushing me away to look me in the eyes, putting a hand on either side of my face.  
I didn't respond, holding on to his body with all my strength, shaking like a leaf.  
"It's ok, baby." He pulled me back in an embrace. About a minute or so later, Morgan yelled where his medic was so Will picked me up and carried me outside in his arms like a child. I started noticing things, people, lights, more noises, familiar smells. Everything became clearer and clearer. He put me down in the foyer where Morgan hugged me, telling me how glad he was to see me and stuff. I focused on breathing.  
A medic arrived only moments after we got outside and before I knew what was happening I was being wheeled to an ambulance on a stretcher. That's when I saw her. Straight dark brown hair, tied up in a ponytail, skinny legs in black slim jeans and chewed on fingernails. It was unmistakably her but it took me a few more moments to process it and react. "Emily." Will's hand relaxed a little in mine as I said my second word that evening and thereby confirmed I was still somewhat kind of sane.  
She heard me and ran over to me, slightly squeezing my hands. "Hi."  
"What.. what are you doing here?" My mouth was dry, making it hard to pronounce the words.  
"What? You thought I was gonna put your life in this incapable team's that always asks people they once kicked out of their team for help hands?" She laughed.  
I attempted to laugh too, every muscle feeling sore.  
"It's ok, sweetie. Don't laugh."  
Hotch came over to me, forcing a reassuring smile.  
"Thank you." I looked up at Emily..  
"Any time." She patted Will's shoulder before rejoining the rest of the team.  
"JJ, how many men were there?" Hotch started questioning me.  
"2?" It was more of a whisper.  
He flinched a little.  
"What?"  
"We already have three, we can't be sure there aren't more. But don't worry about that, JJ. We're handling everything."  
I nodded.  
They gave me infusions, meds, checked for broken bones and asked questions while I slowly regained full consciousness.  
"You look like you haven't slept much" I squeezed Will's hand to show I was talking to him, he had trouble keeping his eyes open.  
"Like I was gonna sleep in a bed that was last made by you or on a couch that you picked out or next to a child that you carried under your heart for 9 months."  
"8 and a half."  
"8 and a half." He laughed with a nod, obviously glad my brain wasn't a complete vegetable.  
"I love you."  
"I love you too." He kissed my forehead.  
Suddenly I remembered the most important thing in my life. "Where's Henry?"  
"He's with Penelope. I suppose they're on their way to the hospital."  
"Does he-"  
"know about your business trip? Yes."  
I nodded as I understood. He was too little to understand any of this, I wondered what we'd tell him why I looked like this. You don't tell your children that there are evil people in this world, cruel things. You let them grow up believing everyone wants the best for everyone, then you watch him realize that's not entirely true and all that's left for you to do is wait and hope that someday he'll forgive you for the lies you told him because until he has a child of his own, he won't understand why people would lie to protect their babies.  
The ride in the ambulance was long, I hadn't realized that on my way there, given the circumstances I figured I should be forgiven for my crappy profiling at that moment.  
"I don't want him to see me like this." I teared up.  
"JJ."  
"I know." I whispered.  
"You look beautiful." He said it exactly the same way he did the day we buried his mother.  
"You know that's not what I mean."  
Instead of replying, he kissed my black cheekbone I'd gotten for punching the guy in the face. My hands had been tied tighter from then on.

Once we got to the hospital, they ran a few more tests, shortly after I got to my room, Garcia arrived with Henry holding her hand until he saw and ran up to me.  
"Hey buddy. I missed you." I moved over a little, holding my breath so he wouldn't see how much it hurt. Will noticed and his grip on my hand tightened.  
"I missed you too mommy." He climbed on my bed and snuggled up next to him. I kissed the babyskin of his cheek.  
"Did you have a nice time with daddy and Penelope?"  
"I slept on the floor."  
"Oh wow, I see they treated you like a king." I said sarcastically but enthusiastically.  
He shook his head. "Are you hurt?"  
"I had a little accident." I took a deep breath. "Remember that time you fell from the swings and we went to this hospital and they gave you a blue cast?" I spoke to him like I used to when he was 2 years old.  
He nodded.  
"Well I did something similar but I'm fine and I won't even need a cast and in a few days we'll play soccer again ok?"  
"Ok." He looked down as if he could tell that I was lying to him.  
"You're my favorite person in the whole wide world." I reminded him, pulling him in a tight hug, holding my breath. "And I love you to the moon and back."  
"I love you to the moon and back too."  
I kissed his cheek. "Are you tired?"  
"Aunt Penelope woke me up so we could come here. She even let me sit in the front of the car."  
"She did?" I cheered. "Wow. Was that fun?"  
He nodded. I looked over at Garcia who'd been standing in the doorway since they arrived, a big smile on her face.  
"You all really need to sleep." I stretched my free hand out to her.  
"I will sleep like a baby tonight, knowing you're in the right company again."  
"Thank you. I'm sure I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for you busy fingers."  
"Anything for you, my dear."  
"Now go home. I'll see all of you tomorrow."  
She kissed me hair and waved goodbye as she trotted out of the room.  
Before I had the chance to say anything else to Henry, another nurse entered. She was old, wrinkly and from the look on her face annoyed to be working nightshifts. "Excuse me, sir. The visiting hours were over like 5 hours ago, I need to ask you to go home."  
"Home is where she is." Will answered without blinking.  
She hesitated for a moment, insecurely sighed and hung the file back on my bed. "Fair enough, I guess." She smiled a little but shook her head as she walked out again.  
They got Henry a separate bed and he was asleep a minute later. That's when I first noticed he was still in his pajamas.  
"I'm fine." I insisted, gritting my teeth. The dark circles under Will's eyes scared me more than the reflection of my own in the window.  
"Yeah you always say that and I believe that you mean it but deep inside you know that it's not true. Remember when you were pregnant and you got shot and I almost died of anger and you said you were fine and then woke up crying at 3am, convinced that you'd killed our child?"  
I just looked at him.  
"I know it's killing you and the memories are eating you alive and it's gonna get a whole lot worse because you're still under shock right now but I won't leave you alone with this. Because I love you and I always have and I always will, no matter in what way this is going to change you or us but you have to let it _change_ and not ruin you. Let it make you stronger or more careful or heaven forbid dislike your job, I don't care. But talk about it with me, Jennifer."  
"Now you remember." I murmured. "Now you remember that I'm not JJ anymore cause I'm a LaMontagne. I didn't wanna marry you because then I'd become yours and I didn't want that but I did it anyway because I loved you and still I'm the only one in _this_ room and I was the only one in _that_ room. While he beat me to get information about a person I've never met. A name I'd once read on caramel brown casefiles. While I couldn't scream because I wasn't allowed to show fear to prove that he had control over me. While I knew exactly that my life was in his hands. While a guy with a full automatic machine gun slept five feet away from me, waking up every time I moved an inch because my foot had fallen asleep. Terrible side effect of being strapped to a chair. Where were you when I slipped in and out of consciousness alternating between cringing as I saw his face in my mind and quietly sobbing as I saw Henry's?"  
"Thank you." He simply said but his expression changed. "But you can't blame me. Because _I_ do and if you did as well I don't think I could wake up in the morning."  
"I don't." I admitted, shaking my head a little, feeling dizzy immediately. I really didn't. I knew he did everything he could to save me as soon as possible but if I didn't blame him- who else was there to blame? The government? The case this was all about? _Myself?_


End file.
